vankoss | Engel Lied: Chapter III: Slave of the Flesh

Third Chapter, this one brings a lot of mental-madness. Enjoy!!

The next episode will bring Dean & Castiel to a long overdue conversation!!

Chapter III: Afraid of the flesh

Castiel reached Uriel’s shoulder. The later looked at him conspicuously while the angel in Jimmy’s body cast his stare at the horizon.

-What is wrong with you Castiel?- The taller angel looked at his subordinate harshly.

-Nothing... i just...- Uriel cut him off abruptly.

-“Nothing”, you think that you can fool me? I know what is happening to you, Castiel- Uriel pierced the other angel with a frozen grimace -You are being infected with humanity- Said while removing swiftly Castiel’s hand from his shoulder and giving him a contemptuously self-righteous glance.

-I did not mean to upset you Uriel- The taller angel walked a few steps away and then faced Castiel.

-I am worried about your behavior, perhaps you are not strong enough to walk among “humans” –The last word was filled with hate and loathe –Your liaison with the elder Winchester is taking a toll on your effectiveness- Uriel started circling around Castiel, rising his voice -Your inability to be objective concerns me brother, your focus on the Winchester boy seems more than your mission commands you-

-But, we have to care about humans, they are God’s sons, as ourselves are-

-Those pathetic creatures? Vomiting their failures and sorrows into the ground? They are nothing more than animals, domestic creatures at best- Uriel’s words were filled with an enormous contempt, but then he returned to his more calmed self –If you can not follow your orders as their are given to you, I shall send you back. We do not need a soldier who is not fully committed to his task- After saying this, Uriel banished within the thin air.

“To Touch” That feeling circled Castiel’s mind those days as it did now. Then, he couldn’t understand his dire need to feel another’s being physical presence. Since he returned the soul of the hunter to his body, the timid warmth he felt then, had only increased when he took physical form. The world of the humans was vastly experienced trough touch, and since him, he wanted to experience it all.

Now, quietly standing in front of an slightly drunk Dean, the only thing Castiel could think about was to touch him, to feel his skin on the tips of his human fingers and to give them a trip through Dean’s most secret places. He wanted to knew him, he wanted to get the excitement of an archeologist over an ancient discovery. When he posed his hand over Uriel that time, he felt nothing, but the mere desire of caressing Dean’s form made him feel parts of his human form that he hadn’t thought of before. Is that love? Digging in Jimmy’s memories he saw the joy of two bodies becoming one. He, an angel of the heavens, had never experienced this before. The Novak man had felt, as he felt, the urge to know and possess the body of the one they loved. Through Jimmy’s memories Castiel knew, that feeling was only a few steps from him.

Then something that Castiel couldn’t foretold happened. Dean rolled over the bed, and the covers fell to the floor, leaving the hunter’s body exposed to the dim moonlight that reached through the curtains. The angel went breathless... he tried to leave, but he was frozen in place. He shyly cast his stare on the body of the elder Winchester, and he saw, he saw the cuts, the scars, the bruises all over his body, and his mark. He felt the damage as his own and move closer to him. “Such a short life, yet you have suffered so much”. He reached Dean’s chest with his hand, and felt the warmth of his skin and the rhythmic sequence of his breath. He wanted to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be all right. But as his hand lingered on Dean, his toughts rapidly began to shift, his mind couldn't contain the imagery that was being created within. Jimmy’s memories leaked into his own, and he saw himself laying in bed with Amelia, kissing, reaching, exploring. He could hear her moaning, shivering with pleasure, calling her husband’s name. “I love you Jimmy, I want you in me”. But then she became Dean, reaching his chest, not Jimmy’s. Castiel could felt his skin as it was real, felt Dean’s breath in his face, and he could hear him mustering “Be in me Cass”. Castiel’s body was burning inside out, he didn’t had the power to stop. He reached the lips of the sleeping Dean with his own, and in the moment he felt the contact, something ravaged his mind in its wake. The time itself stopped outside his head.

-What are you doing??- He felt the voice in his head, angry, restless. It was Jimmy.

-You should not be here Jimmy-

-What the heck are you doing with him?- Jimmy roared within the mind-dome –Answer me Castiel !!-

-I was...- Castiel couldn't explain himself, the heat that he felt, it was irresistible. The desire to get closer and closer to Dean was beyond his explanation. He felt Jimmy’s presence questioning him, furious, judgemental of him –I don't have to give you any explanation over my actions, human-

Jimmy’s presence grew angrier, invading Castiel’s domain over the body. The angel never had felt this kind of strength from the Novak man before, something was wrong, and deep inside him he knew.

-You will explain to me bastard! Why while I’m here, trapped, without sense of mind and time, you are using my body to hump that man!!- Castiel felt Jimmy’s rant as a physical blow. –I didn’t gave you my body to go fucking around with whomever you want! You have a mission and I understood that, yet here you are, wet like a school girl! Kissing a man with my lips, touching him with my hand, while... while I'm here, without her...- Jimmy’s anger deviated into a deep sorrow.

-I saw in your mind, the feeling, the need for another being-

-That doesn’t give you the right to have what YOU denied to me!!- The anger in the owner of the vessel rose again, but this time Castiel felt the same.

-It is your fault, your memories, are crawling into my mind. Your lust, your need, are infecting me... I blame you, pathetic creature- Castiel’s tone sounded just like Uriel’s loathful voice.

-Don’t turn things on me you piece of shit!! I would never do what you’re thinking about. I want my body ba..-

-Enough- The angry Castiel swiftly vanished Jimmy’s presence, and erased his memories. The angel remained in his mind for a few moments. How he dares to judge me. But, deep inside him, he understood Jimmy’s wrath. Being unable to touch the one he loved... he truly could relate to that. Yet still, he didn’t understand the nature of his feelings. Did he truly believe that were Jimmy’s memories the cause of his feelings? He wanted so, but, it felt so own. He suddenly realized that time had begun to run again outside his mind, and quickly removed himself from Dean’s presence.

The hunter opened his eyes. The effect of the beers he had earlier still clouded his mind. He sat on the bed slowly and lighted up the bed lamp. Something felt different, something had happened. Castiel looked from outside the room how Dean licked his lips and placed his hand above his mark