The Flame

[vankoss]

Title: The Flame
Author:vankoss
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Ruby/Sam.
Word Count: 1713
Timing: General season 4
Warning: Ruby's POV on Dean and Castiel. Implied sexual content, Angst, Voyeurism
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, if i did, it would have dragons and catgirls, and Dean would be humping Cas all day long
Summary: Trying to get back on the horse :D. Ruby envies what Dean and Castiel have, and she desperatly want it for herself. In the meantime,  she just settle for watching it.
Notes: This story is part of something bigger, i needed Ruby's imput in the situation, i just love that evil bitch, its the supernatural's character that i most relate myself. Ok, i have made Ruby a fangirl, a shebat crazy fangirl, and i always wanted to flesh her out a bit. And in my head this is the first time that Dean and Cast recognize their feelings, i'll make this from their POV later "We'll burn them as moths lusting for fire"

 

It didn’t matter how close their bodies were, it didn’t matter how deep Sam was inside her, it didn’t matter how hot, lustful and loud their sex was. I was never going to be how Ruby wished it to be, she never was going to reach Sam’s soul as he never was, or wanted, to touch the stained shards of hers. So every time she lied eyes upon Dean and his “fuck buddy”, the black pit of her heart filled with a raw, hateful feeling: envy.

 

She noticed it months ago, a glimpse, A figment of her imagination maeby. It was just one look, one pleading glance between Castiel and Dean. It was in the warehouse where the red haired angel regained her grace. Ruby was there beaten, thinking how the hell she let Sam convince her to be bait, cursing him in her mind, when it happened. Just one contact of those icy-blue eyes on Dean’s, it was just a second. She felt the unspoken words, the confusion, the negation on it, the flame. She swallowed heavy air that threatened to collapse her, and a scarlet scorching heat rose through her throat clenching her jaw. Everytime he saw that flame, the wrath started to boil in her blood.

 

The flame reminded her of what she never could have again, what she lost that day, ages ago, when the lust for power overcame her. Centuries in hell had burned her soul, consuming every glimpse of humanity she had, twisting every part of her being, soiling it with blood, pain, hate and rage. But now she didn’t care, she was different, evil, and she liked it.

 

And then Sam came along, so alone and hurt, so lost, so easy. She crawled her way inside him, making herself needed, convincing him that she was all she had in this world. She possessed his body and made it moan, made it scream, made it shiver, fulfilling her own lustful desires in the process. She, only she and her knew why all of this was needed, she had to break him, twist him into something as hideous as herself.

 

Then Dean came back from the pit, and she saw how Sam slipped trough her claws, foiling her master plan. And something else... it also hurt, very, very painfully. Sam didn't needed her anymore as he used, but he still needed her blood, that cursed demonic blood. This made her happy, but still something hurt.

 

Then Castiel came, surrounded by light, scaring her. He could smite her in any second if he wished. Ruby feared that self righteous bastard. And then, she saw the flame, that so-human feeling, that centuries on hell had burned off her. That firey glance between the older Winchester and the angel. She shivered in pain, remembering that that was lost and negated to her, then she clenched in wrath, wishing to kill’em both for having it, and finally she felt envy.

 

It didn’t matter how far and how much she raptured Sam from his brother, how much she tried to force her way inside him, to infect him. There was no flame between them,  just a mockery of it, made of lust, loneliness and need. She hoped, for the first time in a long time, that if she made Sam as monstrous her, they could be together, engulfed in the same blackness, for eternity.

 

But the envy was greater, every single time that her eyes captured that pure fire between the angel and Dean, she wished it for herself. But at the same time her envy grew, she wanted more and more to observe them. It was painful to watch, but at the same time she couldn’t resist it. It was the closer she could get to the flame, like a moth lusting for a fire that would never burn it, but also would never warm it.

 

At first, she feed her sadomasochist routine memorizing the long and deep stares between Castiel and Dean, trying to guess what they were saying in those looks. But at the same time she wanted to destroy them both, for sharing that she can’t have. Even as she drew Sam closer and closer to her, Ruby tried to dwell in his eyes as they did, but the younger Winchester closed that part of him to her, even as he was being tainted to the core. That infuriated Ruby. She wished to be able to twist Sam’s feelings to love her, to share the same bond that his brother had with that angel, but that never was going to happen, not until Sam was completely ruined and broken. She had to break him.

 

Then she started to stalk Dean, she knew that those stares with Castiel were going to lead to something, something she wished to see. To se that flame burn them, and she wanted to hate them for it as much as she wanted to bask on them. And then it happened, in a poorly illuminated alley. Dean punched Castiel on the face with all his strength, but the angel didn’t move even an inch. But Ruby, from the shadows, could see in how much pain the angel was. She was filled with joy. Castiel cast his stare to his feet, clenching his fists into shivering balls while Dean shouted loud on his face, raising his hands, wrathful, wanting to rip Castiel apart. Ruby found this delightful, if she couldn’t have it, no one should.

 

-Do you think is that simple? Do you think you can just trow this shit on me? Guess what Cas, you’re fucking wrong- Dean shouted wrathful at the angel, for a moment Ruby feels sad, her unhealthy hobby was going to end.

 

-It was not my intention to...- Castiel stares to the ground, eyes wide open, as he can’t believe what is happening. Ruby bites her lower lip in rejoice as Castiel falls apart. The flame extinguishes slowly in both of them.

 

-Just shut the fuck up!- Dean’s anger can almost be touched, he tries to talk again, but his mouth just opens without mustering any words. The hunter just walks in circles, starting to feel the pain on his hand, he grunts slightly.

 

-Let me help you Dean- Castiel reaches towards Dean, but he is just shoved against the wall by the hunter, who starts to scream in his face.

 

-Get the fuck away from me!!! I don’t need your help and as sure as hell I don’t want you- But this time something snaps in Castiel, instead of leaving he charges against the hunter, pinning him against the wall of the alley. Dean open his eyes, surprised, scared, as Castiel gives him his most frozen stare, their faces, just separated by an inch of space.

 

-Enough Dean, don’t presume you can lie to me- his voice was as deep and calm as usual, but the anger could be read in his words –You do want me, I’m not imagining this, I can feel it everytime I dwell in your eyes, I can feel it deep inside of me-

 

-Y...you are delusional Cas- Dean tries to crack a grin, but the result his just a fake smirk.

 

-Stop lying Dean, Why do you lie to me? What I have done to you to deserve this treatment? I didn’t ask for this- This time Castiel’s voice clearly trembles as his grip on Dean’s softens –But you are imprinted on my mind, and I can’t erase you. And I know you feel the same-

 

            Ruby’s breath stops, she can see the fire between the two of them, and she hates it, she just want to run and vomit her pain into the ground, curse the day when she sold her soul, and just disappear into a storm of ashes. But she can’t, she is too mesmerized by the sight of it. The hunter stays mute, and the angel can’t take it any longer, but as he is about to leave, Deans hands wrap around his wrists. Their gazes connect, and Ruby can see the pain, the sorrow, the confusion, the lust, the anger and everything else in their eyes. Sam’s eyes never say anything to her.

 

-Damnit Cas... this is just too fucked up- Says Dean as his voice cracks, followed by a small sigh. He closes his eyes as he leans his head to the side, his face ridden now with pain. Castiel looks at him ashamed for making him feel this sorrowful.-I don’t know how this shit happened... you too are in my head- The words came out painfully from his mouth, but as they reach Castiel’s ears, the face of the angel lightens up, and the fear and shame dissipates. Ruby just stares from afar. In the moment that Castiel places both hands, each at one side of Dean’s face, in the same moment his eyes flutter open, green and pleading, a voice breaks the spell.

 

-Dean? Are you here?- Sam’s voice makes Dean tense up, Castiel leap backwards and Ruby feels that she is going to burst in flames.

 

-Dean...you do lo...- Castiel’s whisper fades as he vanishes. A long sigh scapes Dean’s lips, and a shy smile crosses his lips, then he sees his brother aproaching and walks towards him.

 

-Here you are, what are you doing?- Dean just smiles big at his brother, so genuinely that Ruby can’t believe how he can pull such a facade.

 

-Just taking some air, that room smells like farts-

 

-That’s because you farted on it-

 

            Ruby watches the brothers leave, and the she starts to cry, heavily. She feels sick, she is sick. Lusting after what she can’t have, trying to capture glimpses of it from the distance. She will never love the way they love, she will never feel the flame again, but... she wont stop, she will have Sam even if that means to destroy him, to transform him into a demon like her, so that, at least, they will be able to spend an eternity of suffering and sorrow together. Ruby smiles wickedly, staring the clear nightsky.

 

-You will be mine Sam, and you will love me, and you won’t be able to exist without me... We will be together for ever- Ruby starts to laugh, emptied.

Comments

[aescu.livejournal.com]

I like how you picture the difference between Dean & Cas and Ruby & Sam and the way you describe Ruby's musings about their relationships.

[vankoss.livejournal.com]

yeah, actually that dinamic came to my mind in a drawing, ruby in hell, cas in heaven and the Winchesters in the middle. Dean/Cas being the pure love, and Sam/Ruby a mockery of it, dark and needy

Thanks for reading aescu :D

[hells-hikari.livejournal.com]

This was heart-breaking, poor Ruby. I like her, and I was unsatisfied with the ending of her storyline in canon because I wish we had gotten a glimpse on her emotions, and I think you wrote that perfectly in this story. It was very interesting to read Ruby's thoughts on Dean and Castiel's relationship and on her own with Sam.

She hoped, for the first time in a long time, that if she made Sam as monstrous her, they could be together, engulfed in the same blackness, for eternity.
That line particularly made me sad.

Good job!

[vankoss.livejournal.com]

thanks! Ruby was always under-developed for my taste, but her last lines in season 4 kinda reveals bits of her.

I wanted to portray her with more feelings, wrong and twisted, but feelings non the less, i always though that she did what she did for more tha we knew, in my mind she always loved sam, and suffered for the fact that he would never love her. Plus, in her own words, she's awesome!!

thanks you a lot for reading :D

[hells-hikari.livejournal.com]

in my mind she always loved sam, and suffered for the fact that he would never love her.

Exactly! I also think that - in a weird, twisted way - she loved Sam. One proof: She didn't just kill him after everything, she tried to convince him that it was a good thing, and I can imagine quite well that she wanted to be by his side.

[vankoss.livejournal.com]

yes!! she really tried to "combort him, and she told huim that she save them all. Im gonna write a sequel to this with the final eps of S4, that plot!bunny already has shape in my mind, even I have more plans for ruby afterwards *devilish grin*

[every-night-i.livejournal.com]

Canon ruby may be an evil hellbitch from hell but you make this ruby likeable!

She's gone up 10 points in my book now I know she is a fellow fangirl :L

Loved her twisted view on things and her actually having feelings, including those of envy over The Flame Cas and Dean have ...

The Cas/Dean dialogue was epic, love they way one look between them could convey so much!

Basically you rock

[vankoss.livejournal.com]

OMG! thank you so much for your comment, I've always liked to play with not so touched angles :D, so happy you liked this this much!