Deadpan Bitchface 1 & 2: Electric Bogaloo

[vankoss]

Title: Deadpan Bitchface
Author:vankoss
Pairing: Dean/Castiel.
Also Starring: Sam
Word Count: 563
Timing: General season 5
Warning: Crack, Humor, Poorly written Inuendo, Bitchface
Rating: Pg-13.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, if i did... *gurgles*
Summary: Oh noes! A werewolf! and Cas got in the way of it and Dean! Dean should not worry that much, cause you know, BF is an angel.
Notes: I just wanted some bamf!Cas, and well, i wrote this, nothing serious, but it was fun to write :D. Thid could be a prequel to my "Stupid Sexy Dean" fanart, where Dean gets his revenge :D

 

 

 

Deadpan Bitchface

“Get away Cas!” But the angel stood in front of Dean. The werewolf, lost in bloodlust, saw Castiel as delicious as Dean seemed moments ago.

Dean looked up terrified, but the angel, calm and focused, grabbed the snout of the beast with his bare hands, openings its jaws, making it howl in pain.

“Help Sam” The angel ordered, but Dean just could look up, the angel’s face was filled with raw power and strength. “Dean, now” The hunter shook his head and moved as fast as a sprung ankle allowed it to the unconscious Sam. He saw amazed how Cas held in place the huge beast with his hands. The werewolf tried with not avail to free himself, but Castiel’s hands, although bleeding, kept it’s jaws painfully open.

“Sam, wake up! Sam! where is the gun?” The dizzied younger brother looked around lost. “Sam the gun!”

“I can’t find it!”

“We have to help him!”

“Dean, I don't think that Cas needs any help” The younger Winchester pointed at the angel. Dean’s eyes widened when Castiel started to pull the beast’s jaws apart from each other. The werewolf howled again in pain, trying to fight the angel, but within seconds it lied on the ground, with his jaws and teeth scattered at Cas’ feet.

“Dude, that was awesome” Castiel smiled faintly as the beast’s blood disappeared from his hands and clothes.

“Can you stand up?” Dean tried to, but his damn-probably-broken ankle betrayed him, barely masking the pain in his face.

“Let me help you” Dean did most certainly not blush when Castiel helped him to get on his feet. “Sam, can you walk?” The younger brother nodded and stood up gritting his teeth, his ribcage certainly took a heavy blow when the werewolf send him trough the air. The three walked slowly to the car.

“I mean it Cas, it was awesome.. with the bare hands... and all, thanks” Dean smiled shyly as he leaned his weight on Cas, damn ankle, now he was the damsel in distress, he did not like to be in that position, although the fact that it was Cas who held him, make things a lot more acceptable. The angel put his arm around the hunter’s waist to help him get to the car.

Don’t pretend you don’t like this, you dig when he saves your sorry ass. Now let us enjoy the moment. Inner Dean was not self conscious at all.

“You tend to forget that I'm a warrior Dean, I have the power to smite armies” Dean was a bit surprised when Cas gave him a smug-ish smile. Hell, the angel was enjoying saving his ass. “And you are welcome” Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s waist, so yeah, he was enjoying this.

“Well mister spanks-a-lot, you did not put much of a fight last night” Dean grinned dirtier than ever.

“Perhaps I should... put more of a fight this night” Cas said with his deepest voice at Dean’s neck. And now Dean was a trembling hot mess in Castiel’s arms. The angel had come to enjoy a bit too much messing with Dean. When did he became such a tease?

“Wait... What?” Sam had the bad luck to hear that “Could you guys at least wait for me to not be around”

Well, at least Sam discovered that he can make an awesome deadpan bitchface. 

Title: Deadpan Bitchface II: Electric Boogaloo
Author:vankoss
Pairing: Dean/Castiel.
Word Count: 376
Timing: General Season 5
Warning: Crack, Humor, Weirdnes, Bitchface
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, if i did... *gurgles*
Summary: Not gonna say much cause it will break the mood, but Dan and Cas are into some weird shit
Notes: The first to paragraphs are of a real story i'm working in, but when the idea popped in my head, i just could not resist it, a sort of crackier sequel to Deadpan Bitchface.

 

 

The sun rises slowly, dissipating the tick shadows that dwelt in the room. A few empty bottles lie scattered on the floor, reminders of Dean’s desire to forget.

Castiel watches silent from the shadows, were the sun refuses to reach. He does not know what to say to Dean, who looks at him from the bed. The angel knows that any word he could muster, will trigger the wrath of the hunter. Dean is waiting there, with swollen eyes, any word from Castiel, to release his wrath.

“It was not my intention...” Castiel finally says, but that phrase gives Dean the chance to jump on him and yell hard to his face. With shaky hands the hunter grabs Castiel’s coat, and with mad eyes that pierce the angel’s soul.

“....Just tell me why Castiel, Just tell me why you did it” Dean’s voice comes out poisonous, filled with loathe, yet incredibly soft.

“...I don’t know...” The angel looks down, he still can not believe how he betrayed Dean, how much he hurt him. Now Dean is holding him so ruthlessly that he feels shame for the monster he created. “I’m sorry”

“Why... did... you...” The words come out from Dean’s throat like a moan close to burst into shouts “...ate my pie?”

“I’m so sorry, it looked so delicious, I just could not resist....” Castiel sobs as Dean’s greedy hands start to run across his clothes.

“You will have to pay... the... price” Said, the hunter...

Sam looks at them from the door frame, his bitchface threatening to cast the sun back to sleep.

“Seriously guys, this is the creepiest foreplay ever, and Cas’ voiceover woke me up... creepy, dude, seriously”

“We have to spice things up ya’know?” Dean smiles to his younger brother. Cas whispers something to Dean’s ear “Yeah, Sammy you have to go now...seriously”

“If I stay here you won’t do anything, guys I’m sick of...” But Sam’s words become mumble when Castiel smiles darkly at him as he lowers his hand to Dean’s belt. Seconds after Sam is running down the road and screaming in horror.

-That never fails- Dean proclaims, when he feels Cas' hand in his ass.

-Now...where were we?- ...Said the hunter with a husky, lustful voice....

FIN

 

Comments

[vladiemma.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. This was crazy funny! I especially liked Cas' narration :) Good work.

[vankoss.livejournal.com]

whoops, i hadn't seen this comment before, silly me :P

ha ha, glad you liked it!! lovin me some Castiel voiceover XD